Safety Tips

SAFETY TIPS FOR MEN WHO VISIT XXX WEBSITES

1. It is unsafe to lick your monitor while it is ON.
2. The orifices in the back of your monitor are NOT intended for participation in the LIVE sex show.
3. The fan in your computer's power supply is NOT a good place to cool your "heat of passion" (although, it would certainly be an enlightening experience)
4. Be prepared to replace your keyboard often if you enjoy "tickling the keys" with your manhood.
5. Semen IS electrically conductive.

SAFETY TIPS FOR WOMEN WHO VISIT XXX WEBSITES

1. No matter how big the guys Dick, on the screen, is; remember it's all done with smoke, mirrors, and a dildo. Don't bother drooling. And if you find yourself drooling remember to swallow, or spit whatever, often. Drool, on keyboards can cause shorts and is nasty to clean.
2. Plugging a dildo into the USB port will void the manufacturers warrantee.
3. To cool off your "heat of passion" take a shower and wash the sweat off your fat ass.
4. Keyboard cleaning kits do NOT work for sweaty, fat, chicks drool.
5. Vaginal juice is a very slippery substance; IF you spend a lot of time at XXX sites it is suggested you have a seat-belt installed on your computer chair and PLENTY of clean panties.

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